VoidTraveler Seetan displays his reward: a Fight Night Trophy!

After a few weeks off due to injury - no, you would not have wanted to read articles written one-handed and while addled with Vicodin - I return with this week’s edition of The Weekly Pulp!

UPCOMING EVENTS: The Pathfinder pen-and-paper roleplaying group is still going strong, and will play again this Saturday in Hambone Slash from 10am to 2pm SLT.  The last session saw the brave adventurers fighting off a horde of skeletons in a dark crypt, discovering a system of hidden tunnels, and crawling through them towards the source of manic giggling in the darkness.  Spectators are welcome to gather around the playfield as the party tries to find and dispatch a devious necromancer!

Tired of term papers and final exams? Annoyed with having to work your life away on sunny days in May?  Experiencing none of the above, but damn well wanting to see some heads bashed in anyway?  Fight Night makes everything better, whether you’re the winner, the victim, or the spectator!  3pm SLT Saturday at the Arena in Hambone Slash.

EVENTS HIGHLIGHTS: Stop me if you’ve heard this one: six girls, a ghoul, and a bipedal canine walk into a combat pit… Oh, you know how that one goes?  You must have been at last week’s Fight Night, watching its oddly-demographic’d destruction.  The ghoul VoidTraveller Seetan came out on top, followed by TheBlackCloud Oh in second and Ccindy Pfeffer in third.

In addition to the usual cash prizes of L$1000 for first, L$500 for second, and L$250 for third place, a new reward was revealed:  a sculpted figure resembling the Wastelands logo: a dirty skull wedged into an old tire with blood-red scrawls declaring the bearer a Fight Night champion, framed on the backside with a tire-iron and yellowed tusk. From here on out, Fight Night winners will receive not just the cash prize and the totem (suitable for putting on one’s turf as a Warning To Others,) but a small button-sized version that you can wear pinned to your Wastelands gear, displaying your prowess to anyone you pass (or cause to pass away) on the streets.

Due to an upcoming vacation, Apo’s Audio Atrocities is on a two-week  hiatus.  It will return, like it or not, on Saturday, June 5 (barring more injury.)

PROJECTS: The Wastelands Public Works department is still hard at work on new items, features, and textures for the community.  At the last meeting, the creators collectively decided that since everything made by the WLPW has been created exclusively for The Wastelands, it should all remain exclusive to us - meaning these textures and items should not be given away, traded, or sold.  As always, Wastelands residents can trek to the Heapkeeper’s Shack in the Junkyard, where everything created so far is available for free - just wear your Wastelander tag.

ESTATE NEWS: NeoBokrug Elytis was pleased to report that the Hambone Slash sim is half full already! Keep in mind that its initial immunity from the Free Move Program is well past,  if you’re interested in staking a claim!  If you own land in another sim and want to move to a plot in Hambone Slash, IM Neo and you can pick your new plot without having to pay the usual “down payment” of a month’s worth of tier, and without losing whatever money is left on your current tier meter!  Click the link for full details, or IM Neo to get started.

Also, this month’s Land Token is out in circulation!  Keep an eye out - they’re redeemable “for a 512, valued around L$6625,” according to Neo himself, and can be used on current tier, new tier, sold or traded to others so they can pay THEIR tier, or hoarded away to turn in at a later date.

RP NAME-DROPS: The broiling deserts of the Wastes grow even more parched as the mid-year approaches.  If past times hold true, a lot of new faces will be arriving in these parts soon.  Some may be weary wanderers from far-flung parts who first set forth a few moons ago, as soon the nights were no longer bone-cold.  Some may be familiar folk who hole up elsewhere at year’s end.  And some may just be passing on through.   This reporter’s heard nothing of new clans staking a claim so far, but eyes and ears are out.

Meanwhile, other scavengers gather together to form clans and tribes.  They rely on each other for information, salvage, food, and protection in the streets where calm silence can quickly break into chaotic violence.  Many such gangs and groups have formed and splintered throughout the history of the settlement…some persist and some wander away only to return again later.  Such is the way of all things in this world and so it is among the drifters and scavengers of the Wastelands.

Lately, I’ve taken some time to scour the wastes … digging up bits of news and following word of mouth to seek out signs or stories of such factions that are (or were, as the case may be,) recently active in the region.  For the curious reader, I’ve gathered some of my notes below at various length and detail regarding these clans.  How much of this may be fact or fiction is not entirely unknown.  I leave it to curious scavengers to find out more on their own…

((Dev Note:  Despite this article, current and new factions are still encouraged to add their group to the Forum thread devoted to factions. - S.K.))

Renegades
Founder: Psycho Baroque
-Based in the Great Fissure, this band of scavengers have no specific leader, but Psycho, as the founder, serves best as their representative.  A loose collective that keep to themselves and focus attention to their own business of salvage and trade.  Their activity is quiet for the most part these days but the Psycho and the Tigress, Dassina Andel, can sometimes still be found searching the ruins for supplies.

Pirates
Leader:  Corwin Bellic
-A tough group, semi-nomadic and mostly human from what I’ve seen, as they scavenge the streets for their clan’s survival.  They stick close and watch each others backs.  Sometimes seen dealing and trading with the Black Market.  Potential rivals with the Bandits, a new gang recently arrived in the Wastelands.  Looks like the Pirates aim to build a little community of scavengers, dwellings, and shops down in the belly of the earth.  Various shacks and huts and catwalks cling to rock walls inside a large dim cavern below the southern streets of the Wastelands.  A lonely scavenger could probably find a decent place to rest down there…maybe find some allies too if one has a worthy skill or service they can offer the Pirates.

"You just let us know when yer ready fer a taste...First one's free." - Graves (right) and Oleg (left) of the Black Market at the Monkey Bar (Bartender Lunesta Matova, center)

Black Market
Leader: Graves
-The ghouls of the Black Market remain strong in numbers, still lurking among the tunnels and wreckage of their home in the Junkyard.  Oleg Kiranov, the obsessive researcher of the gang, has finished his studies on the fungus they found on some plants, suspecting it to be related to their own ghoulism.  He even mixed up a strange brew of liquid spores extracted from the fungus, keeping it in a large glass bottle that he regularly drinks from with strange ecstasy.  He’s made some claims about its effect on humans and ghouls but they remain unconfirmed.  I’m certainly not going to taste the stuff even though Graves and Void ((VoidTraveler Seetan)), another of the clan’s high ranking ghouls, encourage me to do so.  Regardless, the Market is now interested in any news or info about a strange breed of plant-creature recently sighted…

Reavers
Leader: Hannibal Mercy
- One of the oldest and creepiest clans of the Wastelands as I recall from my past encounters with them.  Nomadic bloodthirsty raiders back in the day.  Disappearing for a time…but returning with hunger.  True numbers are unknown but their ranks appear smaller with each return.  Perhaps the old rumors of cannibalism ring true.  From atop an overpass, I’ve eyed them in their new home, the North Yard.  The disturbing Hannibal and their witch, Vikki Placebo, are possibly half-mad hermits out there…roaming the ruin and rubble of the desolate barren.

Grotesk
Current Speaker: Mutsy Kaligawa
-A mysterious family of mutant survivors, former tribals and exiles, that are often seen near the burning fires of Fort Stygian, the chasm of the Great Fissure, or among the stones of Cormac.  They refer to each other as ‘brother’ or ’sister’ and sometimes one of them will be called ’speaker’.  This may be a role passed among them but I do not know by what manner or ritual the next speaker is chosen, nor for how long they hold their title.  Regardless, this young tribe seems peaceful enough but still proud and protective of each other and their resources.  Typically, the Grotesk mutants are dismissive but tolerant of humans.  From my past experiences, I know some of their ranks enjoy the taste of ’smoothskin’ or manimal flesh after a good skinning, but it’s been a long time since i felt a pair of mutant eyes stalking me.  They’re disgusted by rotted ghoul flesh but curious about rumors of strange plant creatures…maybe they want some vegetables to go with their meat.

Scarab Outposts in Hambone Slash (built by Riptorious Ulrik)

Scarabs
Leader:  Riptorious Ulrik
- An old clan recently reformed under Rip’s leadership.  Although currently few in number but looking for new recruits, they’ve built impressive outposts in Hambone Slash, and Fort Stygian.  Riptorious is proud of his pets, a gruesome collection of rats taken from the Junkyard tunnels.  They’re not very lively critters but he insists he’s trained them to perform a trick or two.

Paw Tribe
Leader: Hemms Osterham
- Stories tell of a fire raging at the Paw Tribe compound some weeks ago followed by word of a division in the ranks of the manimals.  Now, the tribe is dissolved.  Dispersed upon the winds.  Former members have been seen among the ranks of the Asfhall Tribe and the Artful Dodgers.

PURE
Leader: Tresha Gothly
- The status of this strictly human clan is unknown and their outposts have gradually disappeared from the southern reaches of the Great Fissure.  Previously seen clashing with the Black Market ghouls on occasion.  I reckon they’ve cleared on out.

Riza Karu of the Ashfall Tribe

Ashfall Tribe
Leader:  Riza Karu
- A manimal tribe often seen in Hambone Slash and the southern regions, preferring sand under paw and claw instead of the hot asphalt streets and thick bog mud.  They seem to be a tight group gathered from lone wanderers and remants of the Paw Tribe by the fast and evasive Riza, a dirty rabbit-like creature bearing their tribal symbol in paint, maybe polish, upon her pale fur.  Ashfall expects potential members of their clan to show talent and skill for the good of the clan and their survival…by strength of arm, scavenge, trade, or craft.  Creatures gifted with craft and the knowledge of Making, such as the intimidating beast Tremmor ((TK Tremmor)), are highly valued and revered as Shamans, spiritual leaders in the sacred masheen rituals.  Their inquistive scout, Cork ((Lucky Xootfly)) is particularly interested in finding any old books and tomes of the Old World…

Wasters
Leader: Unknown
- Unseen and unknown, at least by this digger’s eyes.  So far I’ve only heard their name spoken in passing.  I had seen a humble camp at the south edge of Hambone Slash which might’ve belonged to this clan.  It had some signs of recent use but now it’s gone.  Perhaps they were merely nomads passing through.

The Barrel Dok reclines in its office

Artful Dodgers
Leader: Barrel Dok ((Niles Cournoyer))
-A curious faction based in the Rusty Wrench, a precarious assembly of salvaged wreckage and catwalks perched on Hambone Hill.  They are a diverse team, scavengers of scrap and knowledge, and welcoming wastelanders of any race who share their passion and curiosity for craft and collection.  Calling them a mere “gang” will probably excite their leader into a passing moment of anger.  It insists they are a “charity” for the scavengers and stake a neutral position outside of the various clashes and conflicts that may arise between clans.   This “Boss”, as the sign in its office claims, is Barrel Dok…a rare sight indeed in the Wastelands.  A manimal ghoul, it freely admits and it’s fairly obvious to the casual onlooker.  Its pale fur and hide is bloodstained, torn, and stitched…as if somewhere somewhen someone tore it apart and put it back together again.  Nonetheless, Barrel appears generally calm despite its ghoulish nature and a habit of regularly smacking and licking its fanged maw with glee or hunger…perhaps calculating its next meal or the ongoing progress of the Dodger village rising up on the western edge of Hambone.

Bandits
Leader: None
-I haven’t encountered them myself but from what I’ve heard, this seems to be a rag-tag gang sighted around the ruins and streets of the Wastelands looking for salvage.  Rough-and-tumble rascals with no apparent leader.  Organization and tactics unknown but some unconfirmed reports of mugging.  Not sure how dangerous they are since  Apo claims one of them tried to hold her up for ball and twine … to hold up his pants? Some may be more deadly than others.   Bandits supposedly look out for themselves, dealing for salvage or trouble each in their own way.  Rumor has it they are close-knit and WILL protect their own, watching each others backs if necessary.  I might have spotted some of them hanging out among the wrecked shacks near the Press.

The Vile Sun
Leader: Sandling Honey
-The trading group of industrious scavengers who first sparked the long-running salvage economy.  Highly skilled at crafting and gathering supplies.  Knowledge and secrets tightly guarded but always willing to broker a business deal if it’s worthwhile.  Led by the inquisitive Ace of Parts, Sandling Honey.  Their warehouse still sits in the swamp of Malady Bog.  Although Sandling’s activity has been quiet for many moons, I don’t underestimate the Ace’s skill at the masheen.  That crafty manimal may now be the only visibly active member of the Vile Sun but even so, I’d bet its warehouse is very well stocked.

Some prior clans and factions of note…disbanded or departed:
The Clubs - the notorious first gang of the Wastelands.  Diverse racial background.  Highly efficient and brutal.
The Rangers - Highly skilled at crafting.  Aimed to bring law and order among the rabble, a noble yet impossible task.
Southsiders - Simple collective of scavengers living on the south streets of the Wastelands.  Good neighbors watch each other’s backs.
Moskvitch Mercs - Opportunistic and proud mercenary crew available to hire for salvage, defense, or aggression.
Sand Dogs - Manimal mercenaries and scavengers sometimes at odds with the Reavers.
Teeth Grinders - A grisly and zealous tribe of disturbing mutants and ghouls, bound together by secret rituals and dark religion.
Scorpion Tribe - A primitive clan of human nomads and hunters.
The Trade Post - Infamous collective of salvage traders once based in Kronbelt, offering neutral ground, food, drink, and rest for any weary scavenger.

The ominous Roc continues to soar above Hambone Slash

UPCOMING EVENTS: Spectators are welcome to watch the continuing adventures of NeoBokrug’s Pathfinder pen-and-paper roleplaying group this Saturday at 10am SLT by the Hambone Slash Arena.  While the party has killed the crimelord who ruined their respective lives, they’ve returned to the streets only to find the city has degenerated into fiery chaos.

Another gory and glorious Fight Night will be held in Hambone Slash at 3pm.  And if you’re not a fan of fighting for whatever reason, you can make your own Arena maps to mutilate your friends by proxy!

After a week off for the holidays, there will be another meeting of the Wastelands Public Works group after Fight Night finishes up.

Soon after the meeting — barring an as-yet-unannounced Movie Night, which always comes first — Aposiopesis Fullstop will DJ a set of miscellaneous musics from Lunesta Matova’s Monkey Bar.

The Pipe Bomb will feature another round of Swamp Rats Fishing on Sunday at 12pm SLT.  The standard prizes are L$1000 for first place, L$600 for second, and L$400 for third place, but participants can up the stakes with their own contributions.  Furthermore, for anyone interested in creating unique Wastelands fish, rods, or items in the 7Seas system, theblackcloud Oh will soon be able to add custom creations to that server.

EVENTS HIGHLIGHTS: After another session of slashing, bashing, and shoving each other into poisonous spikes, Saturday’s Fight Night concluded with Moondoggie Iger in first place, VoidTraveler Seetan in second, and Aposiopesis Fullstop in third.

Later on at The Pipe Bomb, Aposiopesis Fullstop hoisted her boombox to play another set of music to the gathered crowd.

Sunday’s Swamp Rats Fishing was a fantastically close match which ran down to the very last second, when Moondoggie Iger ousted Aposiopesis Fullstop to take first place, with Finn McCellan coming in a close third.  Thanks to contributions from the crowd, Moondoggie came away with a first prize pot of L$1317, Apo took home L$790, and Finn McCellan filled her pockets with L$526.

LAND INFO: It’s been two months since Hambone Slash opened up to the public, which means that it’s now eligible for the Free Move Program! If you currently own land in any other sim and want to lay claim to land in Hambone Slash, you can transfer your tier there for no charge — avoiding the “down payment” required when buying a new plot.  See the linked Wiki article for more details, and IM NeoBokrug Elytis to get started.

ESTATE NEWS: Neo is still regarding community feedback about the new Healing Machines.  Check this Forum thread to weigh in!

RP NAME-DROPS: The Artful Dodgers, led by ghoulish manimal Barrel ((avatar name Niles Cournoyer)) are digging up and/or constructing their own expansive settlement on the far side of Hambone Slash.

Scavengers who travel the north road of the Wastelands may encounter Agustsa Jun’s Bandits – an alliance of rogues known for mugging passersby for their scrap.

HEALING MASHEENS
This isn’t anything new but the glow stones, the “healing rocks” as most folks called them, are long gone from the Wastelands.  It appears the sands swallowed up what was once pushed to the surface, disappearing just as mysteriously as they arrived.  Regardless,  new yet familiar devices have shown up in Fort Stygian, the Great Fissure, and Hambone Slash.

The ghoul, Kittykat Borkotron, seeks healing at the Great Fissure masheen.

Someone or something must have gathered up chunks of that strange material and dumped them into old salvage masheens.  Wounded scavengers can no longer just run to the rocks for a quick and easy fix.    They need to feed these repurposed masheens some salvage in order to activate the healing power of the rocks for some period of time.  At the moment, their healing properties are far weaker than the original stones.  These masheens probably best serve a gathered crowd of scavengers to take advantage of the effects.  Those that actually live among our ruins seem to get slightly stronger doses  ((by wearing the Wastelands group tag)).  Individuals should probably still rely on a healthy diet of food to regain their strength instead of some magic rocks!

WATERING HOLES
Since the settlement lost the Trade Post, wastelanders were hard-pressed to find a decent place to wet their dry throats.  Nothing can ever really take the place of the Trade Post, but time changes all things so it’s heartening to uncover at least two new scav-stops built since the days of the Trade Post.  These establishments have open doors and they welcome any scavenger to stop in for some food or drink and maybe hear a tale or two.

The Genral Stoar and Bar in the Great Fissure

Ole Wankerstein Clapsaddle keeps an open bar on the level above his Genral Stoar overlooking the Great Fissure.  Although the wrinkled and busy old-timer isn’t always there, he don’t mind if folks stop in and help themselves.  Pull some of his brew from behind the bar and have a seat.  A good breeze might whip up from out of the shaded chasm of the Fissure and sneak its way through the wall seams to cool you off.

Lunesta Matova tends the Monkey Bar

Meanwhile, Lunesta Matova is currently operating the Monkey Bar, a tavern on the upper floor of an old Junkyard warehouse.  Folks can follow the sound of laughter and a clunk-clank-clatter of mugs and bottles up to the bar via the exterior metal stairway or the supply lift within.  You’re on your own if you go down into the lower chambers but it seems like a ghoul, Smokey Steamweaver, has a “clinic” in the basement tunnels morbidly named “The Chop Shop“.  Who knows?  Maybe he WAS some sort of doctor before he became a ghoul.  If so, patients might want to ask just how much of his skill he remembers these days before seeking medical attention.

The Chop Shop

Similar to the Trade Post, the owners of both establishments appreciate a word or token of gratitude for their service but they still expect folks to mind their manners and don’t make a mess.  Keep your fights out in the streets.  If you refuse, there’s no telling what they’ll break out from behind the bar to break over your head with a boot to your rear if you stir up a ruckus.

PAINFUL PLANTS
It’s been over a moon ago since, but I still hear stories in passing from all kinds of scavengers about a bloody event that took place one day while I was gone.  Descriptions of a pair or more of very strange beasts.  The details about their sizes varied slightly from scavenger to scavenger but all agreed they looked like walking plants!  Humanoid beasts with thick green skins and root-like feet.  Tendrils and red vivid eyes.  Cavernous chests with branching ribs.

A botan celebrates over the body of one of its victims.

Where did these things sprout?  Initial sightings spotted them in the muck and dirty waters of Malady Bog but encounters with the ravenous creatures spread throughout the settlement.

What did they want?  Wastelander hearts by all accounts.  Many unlucky scavengers were hacked and slashed by the beasts with crude but deadly clawed weapons.  The slithering tendrils of their hands delved into their victims’ chests, tearing out hearts only to drop the bloody mess upon the fallen.  Only a few scavengers were able to defeat the beasts in their first encounter, making a trophy of the things’ heart instead.  But it didn’t stop the onslaught.  These walking salads got right back up and continued their crazed hunt through the ruins.

A pair of botan hearts

The deadly plant-things continued to terrorize folks for the rest of the day.  Some scavengers bravely or foolishly gathered together to retaliate with fierce fighting that dragged across the swamp and junk and desert sands.  A few even tried to communicate or reason with the beasts only to be chased and cut down.  These things seemed enraged or driven mad with hunger perhaps.  Maybe they’re something that retreated from the toxic fog of Bloodmoss and took root somewhere in the Bog?  As usual with most mysteries in the Wastelands, we’re left with only questions.  Regardless, at the end of that long bloody day, I’ve been told the plant creatures stalked back to the Bog and disappeared into its murky waters.

Bloodrage of the Botans - Photo by Vikki Placebo

While writing this report, I wasn’t sure what to even call them but the Food Trader mumbled something about “Botans” and “plants with legs” while turning his nose up at some old bits of mangy fur I offered him.  Not that I trust much of what that ugly codger says.  I’ve also heard whispers of the word “botan” from what I can only call “the Mirage” of the Wastelands…something that seems to appear and disappear, changing shape nearly every time I see it.  Even then, it won’t say much…it’s just an eerie and silent thing to behold, returning your gaze with dark eyes and a wry smile, sometimes a toothy grin.  Maybe the desert sun has indeed baked too much of my brainmeat as some folks might tell you, but here I am, writing about “Botans” and “walking plants” as if such a thing was real.

The Food Trader waits for business to come to him in the Bog

But Botans are definitely real.  Not too long ago after that deadly day of heartless massacre, I saw one for myself in the Bog.  It was different from the others I heard about, but still similar.  At first, Aposiopesis Fullstop and I mistook it for a mound of weeds and roots until it sprung up from the muck.  It was hunched over but clearly larger than either of us.  Its body, legs and arms were thick as stumps, ending with large gnarled branching claws.  Roots and leaves and weeds sprouted from its back and it studied us with inhuman features.  An array of blood-red eyes on its head watched us while its thorny maw opened and closed.

Apo and I remained wary and the botan cautiously approached us, somehow sniffing the air around us with those spiny jaw-petals.  I do not know if it can smell things the way manimals do, but it certainly looked like it was examining us as much as we were examining it.  We were surprised when it simply lurched away into the weeds.  I think we both expected to be attacked by the thing.

Apo, who is possibly even more curious (at the risk of life and limb) about odd things in the Wastelands than myself, soon found a big fat swamp rat scurrying around her hut.  I watched as she chased it some and pinned its tail with her boot and stomped it dead for good measure as it tried to bite her.  Her dirty face smiled with pride when she held it up and stated she was going to give the dead critter to the botan!  I’d rather we just ate it ourselves but she wasn’t to be discouraged so we tracked down our “friend”.

The mysterious new Botan spotted in the Bog

The botan circled Aposiopesis warily as she stood upon a shed looking down at it and I kept my distance.  I don’t know if it recognized us but it definitely reacted when she tossed down the rat.  It gathered the dead rodent up in its claws and moved away a bit and quickly devoured the rat in its wicked mouth.  As soon as it finished, it quickly turned and jumped at Apo, attacking her and gurgle-snarling angrily.  I rushed in to back her up, hacking at the suddenly violent vegetation, while Apo scrambled to arm herself.  The botan swiped its sharp branch-claws at me and snapped its maw at Apo as it turned and climbed and clambered around the wrecked huts in its rage.

Eventually, the botan paused its attack and snarled at us threateningly before returning to the weeds and muck of the Bog.  We were left scratching our heads and rubbing our bruises from the hectic fight with no clue as to why it suddenly attacked after Apo’s offering.  It certainly didn’t turn down the rat when she tossed it to him, but it didn’t seem very grateful for the gift either.

It’s been awhile since that encounter but I have heard the occasional report of others meeting this same botan.  They’ve seen it in various moods also.  At times aggressive or briefly curious but always patiently stalking through the bog…eyeballing the muck and scavengers…carefully searching and studying the water and huts…

The Shady Drifter Camp in the Great Fissure

The Late Edition rolls out once again with this week’s picks of Wastlandsian news and events.  As always, feel free to contact me with any tips inworld via IM, or offworld at aposiopesis (dot) fullstop (at) gmail.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS:

Despite the holiday weekend, Fight Night will still be held at 3pm in Hambone Slash.  As always, the Healing Machines will be running for free as long as the competition lasts!

Shortly after the other events wrap up, Aposiopesis Fullstop will DJ from a venue yet to be announced.

Swamp Rats Fishing will take place at 12pm SLT this Sunday at The Pipe Bomb.  Once again it will be an hour-long bounty hunt tournament, with prizes of L$1000 for first place, L$600 for second, and L$400 for third place, with bait buckets for the fourth and fifth place finishers.  Sixth place finishers and below receive a wonderful consolation prize: all the bogwater their boots can carry.

EVENTS HIGHLIGHTS: In last week’s session of the Pathfinder pen-and-paper roleplaying group run by NeoBokrug Elytis, the players boldly confronted their common nemesis, barely took a scratch, and made a most gruesome discovery — before emerging to find the entire city burning down around them.  The next step of the story will take place on April 10, from 10am SLT to 2pm SLT, at the temporary playfield beside the Arena of Hambone Slash.

The Tin Man had a few devious tricks up his sleeve for last week’s gruesome Fight Night - the six players were split into two teams, which battled each other in the trap-filled Arena.  Ultimately, Team One were the victors, consisting of TheBlackCloud Oh, Moondoggie Iger, and KittyKat Borkotron.

Not long thereafter, Aposiopesis Fullstop returned to The Pipe Bomb for a DJ set full of as-yet-unplayed songs.

Swamp Rats Fishing returned triumphantly on Sunday! After an hour of relaxed yet competitive fishcatchery, Angharad Greggan came through as the victor, Sandusky Kayvon took second place, and Psycho Baroque came in third.

PROJECTS: Save for a few final touches, the Wastelands Public Works has very nearly finished the Tribal Mutant sacrifice area on the rim of the Stygian crater, and is moving on to new features!  Also, new textures will soon be made available to Wastelands residents for use in their builds.

The Wastelands-themed glyphs and symbols thread continues on the Forums.   Add your ideas, give feedback or advice, or try your hand at translating some examples!

ESTATE NEWS: The new Healing Machines are still being tried out, and Neo still seeks community feedback regarding any problems, suggestions, or other issues.  Check this Forum thread for more details and to leave your ideas.

Neo also briefly released some Nomadic Greenthumb mobs (and the infamous Roc) into Hambone Slash for very early playtesting!   These roving, hooded, gasmask-clad strangers were both fast and well-armed — one with a gun, the other with a deadly poison-tipped syringe hooked to a mysterious glove and backpack, — and, when attacked, they could call out to each other for help.  Neo also hinted that, with the revised salvage system, mobs will be able to drop loot after being killed.

RP NAME-DROPS: The Shady Drifters seem to have rebuilt their camp near the Great Fissure — and for all Wasters who can read, an interesting journal has been left out for any trespasser to leaf through.

For any weary scavengers in need of a drink and some rest, the Bar above Wankerstein’s General Stoar is open for business in The Great Fissure, and Lunesta Matova’s Monkey Bar has opened in a warehouse in The Junkyard.  Sandusky Kayvon will have a more detailed description of these relatively-new watering holes in an upcoming piece!

UPCOMING EVENTS: NeoBokrug Elytis’ Pathfinder pen-and-paper roleplaying group got off to a solid start last Saturday, and after an intriguing cliffhanger, the adventure continues this week!  Spectators are invited to gather around the temporary playfield near the Hambone Slash arena this Saturday from 10am SLT to 2pm to watch the tale unfold.

Not long afterward and not far away, Fight Night will take place at 3pm.  The Healing Machines will be up and running for the duration, so feel free to step on as many landmines as you like.  After all, they contain sweet, delicious candy*.

Once all the other Saturday events are finished, probably around 7pm SLT, Aposiopesis Fullstop will be DJing from The Pipe Bomb in Malady Bog.

Sunday will see the return of Swamp Rats Fishing!  Float, chat, and generally chill out in the waters just beyond The Pipe Bomb.  The tournament begins at 12pm SLT, lasts until 1pm, and will also feature a Bounty Hunt — meaning that a special prize goes out to anyone lucky enough to catch a specific kind of fish.  The regular prizes will be L$1000 for first, L$600 for second, and L$400 for third place, with bait buckets for the fourth and fifth place finishers.  Non-tournament open fishing is available 24/7 — just try to not entangle your line in those pesky “NO FISHING” signs.

EVENTS HIGHLIGHTS: While the Spring Break season kept the Wastelands mostly quiet on Saturday, Aposiopesis Fullstop raised the volume a bit with an extra-long DJ set atop the billboard of Syruss Constantine’s Sledgepile.

PROJECTS: Still more ideas and expansions are filling the Wastelands-themed glyphs and symbols thread on the Forums.   Join in and add more ideas to the growing pool!  Specific concepts still in the works are a simple symbol for Mutants, symbols for various emotions, and possibly an alphabet and number system.

ESTATE NEWS: The new Healing Machines are still in the trial phase. Located in Hambone Slash, the Great Fissure, and Fort Stygian, they run for 10 seconds per point of Barter Value in the scrap you rez near them. For complete details, see this Forum thread — which is also the optimal place to leave your feedback, suggestions, or error reports.

The salvage spawn rate has also been recalibrated for a 10% increase in crates.  It’s also now based on the number of HUDs equipped instead of on sheer traffic — however, the general principle is the same as before: more players means more crates which expire a little faster; fewer players means fewer crates which last a little longer.

RP NAME-DROPS: The Paw Tribe is now defunct, many of its members moving on to forming the Ashfall tribe or join up with the Artful Dodgers.

*”Candy” here means “Fiery unholy leg-fragmenting explosives.” Land Mines may not be suitable for children, pregnant women, pregnant men, those with congenital heart defects, those without congenital heart defects, males, females, the intersexed, the asexual, any combination thereof, or any physically-embodied creature of any species whatsoever.  Ask Makaio Stygian if Land Mines are right for you.  He could use a good laugh.

Healing Masheen in Fort Stygian

After a brief hiatus, here are this week’s news and reviews of all things Wastelands:

UPCOMING EVENTS: Break out the Cheetos and Mountain Dew — the first proper adventure of NeoBokrug Elytis’ Pathfinder pen-and-paper roleplaying group begins this Saturday!  Gather around the playfield by the Hambone Slash Arena and watch the wayward cast of characters come together to start their epic quest.  Sessions run from 10am SLT to 2pm SLT.

If you enjoy more direct and visceral combat, the Arena can provide.  There’s plenty of viscera smeared on the walls and floor, after all.  Watch more of your friends and neighbors get slashed, smashed, sawed and skewered in this week’s Fight Night, held as always at 3pm.

EVENTS HIGHLIGHTS: The Arena took more than its share of blood in this week’s Fight Night competition, as fighters often struggled to avoid the many nasty traps. Despite it all, the wily mutant Ccindy Pfeffer took first prize in this week’s Fight Night competition, earning her L$1000.  Sandusky Kayvon came in second, taking home a L$500 reward, and Dassina Andel took third place and L$250.

This week at the Burnt Oak Drive-In, Giuseppe Spicoli featured “Press Start,” a 2007 independent comedy and parody of video games. The story followed Zach Nimbus, a young hero unaware of his destiny, who allies himself with a belligerent ninja and a spunky space soldier to vanquish the evil sorcerer Count Vile.

Afterward, Aposiopesis Fullstop blared more music from atop the billboard at Syruss Constantine’s Sledgepile.

PROJECTS: People are still brainstorming  Wastelands-themed glyphs and symbols on the Forums.  Go there to submit your own ideas, or to comment on the current suggestions.

The Wastelands Public Works department continues their work on new textures, items, and features.  Landowners, be sure to check the Heapkeeper’s Shack in the Junkyard for high-quality freebies for your builds!  Furthermore, the Mutant sacrificial area at the rim of the Fort Stygian crater is very nearly complete, and more features are still to come.

ESTATE NEWS: The new Healing Machines have been completed, and are now in a trial phase.  Looking intriguingly like the old Salvage Machines, they now require an item of scrap to operate, and will run for 10 seconds per point of Barter Value in the scrap.  More details can be found in this Forum thread. ((The Healing Machines can be found in Hambone Slash, the Great Fissure, and Fort Stygian. - S.K.))

RP NAME-DROPS: There are reports of a schism in the Paw Tribe, leading to the formation of the Ashfall clan.

The strange Botan has been seen again in Malady Bog. Given their silence, it may be difficult to determine just what it wants…

Furthermore, there are rumors that an old familiar face has come back to The Wastelands after a long absence.

The Land Token on display at the Rusty Wrench

Better late than never, here’s this week’s installment of Wastelands event reviews and previews.

UPCOMING EVENTS: For those in NeoBokrug Elytis’ Pathfinder pen-and-paper roleplaying group, this Saturday’s session will be for finalizing character creation — and running through some short scenarios!   While there are no spots left for players, spectators are more than welcome to watch the gameplay.  Thrill as a party made mainly of near-noob Gnomes tries to learn how to fight, cast, sing, and steal without killing themselves in spectacular fashion!  The session takes place this Saturday from 10am SLT to 2pm SLT by the Arena in Hambone Slash.

For those who’d rather do their fighting with a keyboard and mouse than some dice and a pencil, another vicious Fight Night will happen at the Hambone Slash Arena at 3pm.

Once all the bodies have been cleared away and all the victory photos have been taken, a Wastelands Public Works meeting will take place in Fort Stygian.

EVENTS HIGHLIGHTS: It was Ladies’ Night at Saturday’s Fight Night competition!  Females won every round, illustrating once again that behind every successful Waster woman, there’s a man or another woman — lying unconscious and bleeding profusely. Oku Ghost was the alpha female this week, earning L$1000 for her first-place victory.  Aposiopesis Fullstop came in second with a L$500 reward, and Moondoggie Iger took third place and took L$250.

The Burnt Oak Drive-In lit up once more this past Saturday as Giuseppe Spicoli subjected viewers to the 1985 slapstick comedy “Crimewave,” aka “The XYZ Murders.”  Written by the Coen brothers, directed by Sam Raimi, and featuring Bruce Campbell in a minor role,  the loose and cartoonish plot centers around a hapless nerd framed for murder.

Not long thereafter, Aposiopesis Fullstop blasted some tunes from her battered boombox at the Boat House in Burnt Oak.

PROJECTS: Inspired by some recent real-world archaeological awesomeness, the Forums are abuzz with the idea of  Wastelands-themed glyphs and symbols! Break out your favorite image editor and join in the brainstorming, or offer feedback on the various pictures that have been posted so far.

ESTATE NEWS: Some lucky resident has found the first of the newly-minted Land Tokens!  One Land Token enters the salvage spawn each month.  The finder can use it to pay tier if they already own land, or use it towards the down payment on a new patch of dirt or muck.  Or, if they’re not interested in land ownership, it can be sold off to others!

Neo is continuing work on new salvage recipes and new spawn mechanisms — along with other Wastelands game improvements.

RP NAME-DROPS: The Pirates of the Wastelands seem to have developed a rivalry with the Paw Tribe and the Pure Bloods, both based in Fort Stygian.

A Scarab flag has also been seen tacked to the Pure Bloods compound.

Meanwhile, in Malady Bog, there have been rumored sightings of strange plant life…

Strange plant life...

A body in the bog...

((Editor’s Note:  This story will take a bit of imagination on everyone’s part to swallow, but it will stand as the “official” RP explanation for the unfortunate departure of our northwest region, Bloodmoss Swamp.  You might trip over a few “props” I added along the Bog’s northern border.  They serve as morbid clues to the following story. - S.K.))

Bloodmoss.  A stringy clump of disgusting grey-green moss splattered and streaked with red, giving the plant its particular name.  It’s not much to look at but Wastelanders make the  most of it for their diet.  Most Wastelanders know where bloodmoss originates.  Even though the scarlet-green vegetation is now seen among the weeds and roots of Malady Bog, recent newcomers may not realize it was first discovered further north in another large stretch of wetland, the aptly named Bloodmoss Swamp.

A few scavengers made their home around the large patches of the red-hued moss growing among the mounds of mud and vines.  Apart from the scarlet vegetation, Bloodmoss Swamp was similar to Malady Bog in many aspects.  Broken bridges spanned the mire and cracked concrete ruins rose from the dark waters.  A shattered overpass, similar to those seen in the Junkyard, reached up from the muck and pointed mysteriously to the north.

Bloodmoss Swamp was often a quiet outskirt compared to rest of our settlement.  Given its remote location, I rarely encountered others while scavenging.  Sometimes I crossed paths with the Museum curator, Patrice Cournoyer, or the Renegade tigress, Dassina Andel.  Often, I would catch a glimpse between the trees of the ghoul-urchin, Shay McDowwll, as he patiently searched the muck for salvage.  Although activity in the Swamp increased when its salvage masheen became one of the only two remaining (after the mysterious attacks from the Brominites), it still retained a calm quality.

Unknown to all of us, that silent atmosphere allowed a deadly and invisible presence to take shape in Bloodmoss.  Buzzards and swamp rats were found dead without a scratch on their filthy bodies.  Their next-of-kin began to avoid the place…birds steering clear while rodents swam away.  The dark waters bubbled ominously at times as if the earth itself was drowning below, threatening to spit out its last breath.  Flickers of eerie fire glowed within the swamp at night, sometimes erupting in devastating explosions.  Clouds of green gas, thick with poison, seeped up from the roots, coating the trees in ugly spores.  Some shrugged off these omens as nothing more than the usual hardships of living in this tortured land.

Finally, the strangest clue arrived when the bloodmoss suddenly took on a life of its own, rapidly migrating south into Malady Bog.  This was one omen that could not be ignored.

Thus, the exodus.

Humans quickly packed their supplies, leaving by raft or dragging them through the mud.  Manimals instinctively stayed away having noticed the smaller beasts scurrying south.  Even the ghouls, attracted to wet decay, moved out.  They too sensed that this place was no longer safe, even for the likes of them.  Tribal mutants mocked the retreat, preaching and warning of swamp spirits and bog demons, but everyone could see that they also took care to quickly leave and stay away from the swamp.

While the refugees rushed to stake new ground, either in the Bog or out in the sands and junk, some of us took it upon ourselves to rescue the salvager before…before what?  We still had no clear understanding why we were abandoning the swamp, but everyone that pushed and pulled the masheen knew we had to safeguard the device, to salvage what we could, and bring it to a safer location.  The salvager now sits secure within the Bog shack like the one before it.

In the end, the exodus was wise and just in time.  Most scavengers found a new place to set up camp when the toxic gas and ominous fog finally smothered Bloodmoss Swamp in an impenetrable blanket.  Unfortunately, a few unknown strangers must have lingered in the swamp too long.  Their remains can be found along the old border between the Bog and the Swamp.  Slowly decaying corpses snared by the swamp, wrapped tight in a death shroud of bloodmoss.  Grisly memorials, reminding all of the inherent and sometimes subtle dangers of the Wastelands…

A grisly memorial...

The Giftmas Tree in Malady Bog

Dragged up from the junk of the Heap.  Hauled across wrecks and road ruin.  Slogged through mire and muck.  Gutterblood Spoonhammer has planted the bulk of the boiler-branch-wing thing he calls a “tree” into the ground-gunk of Malady Bog.  And yes it IS a tree…of sorts.  Its presence announces the beginning of a strange season in the Wastelands known as Giftmas.

It’s an inexplicable time of the year.  No one really knows how to explain it…or even what brought it on.  Maybe the chill in the air or the silent fall of ash carried on the shifting wind from Stygian’s crater.  But these scoundrels, scavengers, and survivors of the Wastelands somehow acquire a very giving attitude in this season.  They set aside their weapons, if only for a moment, so they can wrap up strange packages…crafted in dirty fabric, rusted metal, rotten wood.  One by one, they bring them to the Giftmas Tree and set them at its base…each gift free for any wanderer to pick up and carry with them to wherever they go next.

Among the gifts, Aposiopesis Fullstop has left a couple of amusing poems for anyone to take and read.  You might scratch your head, wondering where she got her inspiration, or chuckle in amusement, or you may do both.  I share one of  them here for you:

BARRY THE MUTANT by Aposiopesis Fullstop
((To the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”))

Barry the Mutant
Was a giant scary soul
With his scarred green skin
And a red mohawk
And two eyes that burned like coals

Barry the Mutant
Was as mean as mean could be
And the old folks said
He could squash you dead
Like you’re nothing but a flea.

There once had been a person in that long black coat he found
But Barry cut ‘im up and dumped his guts out on the ground!

Barry the Mutant
Led the dread Teeth Grinders clan
They liked to lurk
In a big old church
And to pillage the Wastelands.

Down to the Junkyard
With a Clobberin’ Stick in hand
Raiding here and there
All around the square
Shouting “Catch us if you can!”

They prowled around the streets of town and menaced passers-by
And cut and hit and shot them ’till you heard them holler “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?”

Barry the Mutant
Only comes back now and then
But don’t you fret
Maybe sometime yet
He’ll barty with us again.

Thumpity thump thump
Thumpity thump thump
Look at Barry go!
Thumpity thump thump
Thumpity thump thump
Bashing the skulls of foes!

Although I have no gifts among my possessions to share this year, I still felt compelled to add to the tree in some way.  So I rigged the Excavator, my crude digging tool, to one of the wings.  Even that seemed insufficient, so i sparked up a flame from a strange canister of oily liquid I dug up recently and set it upon the boiler.  I’ve noticed other Wastelanders have also crafted simple and crude decorations to hang from this tree’s steel branches.

Once again, I smile and nod at the growing pile of packages below the tree.  Wastelanders are sometimes seen by outsiders and newcomers as a rough and tumble lot, a proud and guarded rag-tag bunch of rascals, but this Tree and the gifts arranged below it…it betrays a thing that the casual observer may not readily see at first…but it’s there I know.  A certain measure of generosity.  The act of sharing, whether it be skill or craft or word of deed.  Although we may hoard our salvage for survival, even the most hard-hearted of us may pause for a moment to give to the Tree.  I tighten my coat against the damp chill of the swamp and wander on…

((Instructions for leaving a Giftmas package:  This year’s Giftmas tree is located a few steps East of the landing point in Malady Bog.  Here is the SLURL.  Each resident is allocated 3 prims, which can be used as part of your decoration, or giftbox or both. If you would like to leave gifts for residents and visitors alike, please put ALL of your gifts into one festive box,  and place it under the tree. Mark them as either for sale for zero lindens, or use a touch-give script.  Don’t forget to put proper permissions on your gifts.  The TREE will be out and auto-return will be disabled until Dec 31st.))