All things old are new again. It’s probably one of the prevailing themes of The Wastelands, and it seems to hold true in character and out. The past couple of weeks have been filled with shifted schedules, intriguing hints, and the return of some fondly-remembered events.
UPCOMING EVENTS: This Saturday at 3pm SLT, get set for the Wastelands tradition of Fight Night. Equip your HUD, pick your weapon of choice, and beat the crap outta your friends and neighbors for fun and profit! The winner gets L$1000 and a snazzy trophy and button set, second and third place get L$500 and L$250 respectively, and the walls of the Arena get a fresh coat of gore. Spectators are welcome to line the fence and smack down any cheating skag who tries to walk the ledge – melee only, please! And remember, the number of participants determines whether it goes by old-fashioned tournament rules, the point system, or the newly-coined elimination/point system, so show up early, show up often – and show up on Voice if you’ve got it, to join in the… er… certainly colorful commentary.
But the weekend’s events don’t end then! The Pathfinder pen-and-paper roleplaying group run by NeoBokrug Elytis has been moved to Sundays from 10am to 2pm SLT. The players are well into the second book of the adventure, and the mysteries continue to pile up. An insidious disease is infecting the populace of Korvosa, and the contemptible widowed Queen has created a new legion of Plague Doctors with the power to imprison – or to kill. However, there may be more to this convenient disease than meets the eye. The adventurers must find the cause of the plague, ferret out the people responsible for and profiting by it, and attempt to bring them to justice. Spectators are welcome!
Head under the Museum this Sunday at 1o:3 am SLT for Fist Wrap Fight Night, a wraps-only tournament based on the honor system. Each player contributes at least one Wastelands food item for the victory bounty. Fights are one-on-one, and each round lasts only three minutes. The person with the highest health at the end (remember the honor system bit?) is the winner – and the overall winner of the tournament takes home the stash of food! Fighting begins at 10:30 am SLT and lasts until 11:30.
Also on Sunday, at 3pm SLT, Nino Bollisima will be hosting a Salvage Auction from his trading post known as The Pawn Shop in the Wastelands.
EVENTS HIGHLIGHTS: Two Saturday nights ago saw the surprise return of Movie Night at Giuseppe Spicoli’s Burnt Oak Drive-In. The devilish Doktor had been wrangling with the equipment for quite some time, and needed to test out his latest configuration. Fortunately for everyone, he showed a film. Unfortunately for everyone, the film was the infamous Bill Cosby spy spoof/trainwreck known as “Leonard Part 6“. Winner of three, count them, THREE Golden Raspberry Awards for Worst Picture, Worst Actor, and Worst Screenplay, it shows the disjointed adventure of Leonard (Cosby), a retired secret agent re-recruited by the CIA to foil an evil mastermind’s plan. Specifically, a vegetarian megalomaniac’s plan to secure world domination by brainwashing animals to act as assassins, which Leonard can foil only through the powers of Gypsies, meat, and blatant product placement.
Afterward, at the Boat House, DJ Aposiopesis Fullstop paid tribute to the movie by playing a handful of spy-themed tunes, a handful of songs with “Six” in the artist or title, and a couple hours of absolutely random songs thrown in with no regard for flow or continuity.
Movie Night returned for more testing on Sunday night, this time offering up the 2010 action comedy “MacGruber,” based on the Saturday Night Live sketches of the same name – themselves based on the TV show “MacGyver.” Another tale of a retired special operative called back into the service, “MacGruber” features Will Forte in the title role as a soldier of misfortune who must find and stop his arch-nemesis from detonating a nuclear warhead.
The testing having worked out fabulously, Monday night saw the first official Movie Night of its new date and time. After an hour of DJing at the Boat House, Giuseppe showed the 1982 Canuxploitation film “Big Meat Eater,” a sci-fi/horror/musical/comedy. Movie Night will return every week at approximately 7 pm SLT, after an hour of DJing at the Boat House!
Saturday held another triumphant return: War Zone! Neo hoisted the irradiated flag at the center of the trap-filled Arena, while two teams vied to take control of it, get it out of the Arena, and to run, dodge, and leap their way through the sands of Hambone Slash without losing control. All the while, the opposing team members are slicing, bashing, and shooting at the flag-bearer and anyone else on his team. And did I mention that the flag itself is irradiated? The steady dose of radiation means that the flag-bearer will die if he or she tries to hold it the entire time, and must pass it off to a teammate – without inadvertantly passing it off to a foe! Saturday’s match was between two five-person teams, Team One captained by VoidTraveller Seetan and team Two by Aposiopesis Fullstop. The ten-minute fights came down to a matter of seconds, but Team Two pulled it off, and they were rewarded with a new Victory Platter loaded with not just the usual medkits and ammo, but some new food and other items, as well! War Zone may return as a regular feature in the weeks to come.
ESTATE NEWS:
Combat / Salvage Game:
CRITTERS! The Wastelands’ first AI creatures were unveiled on Monday evening. Flocks of Turkey Buzzards were seen circling and swooping over Hambone Slash, while the Wastelanders below ran around, weapons in hand, trying to bring them down. But it’s not necessarily an easy fight – swift and surprisingly maneuverable, the Buzzards can be a tricky target. But once you’ve dealt it some damage, it circles and swoops down on you! This reporter doesn’t know whether it was a set of talons or a sharp beak that gouged her in the back, but whatever it was, it wasn’t comfy! While ranged weapons worked best, obviously enough, even melee weapons were able to strike down a Buzzard over time. Once felled, the Buzzards gave forth a bounty of feathers and flesh. Neo asserts that more Critters will be introduced in the coming weeks, not all of them airborne – and that their “very basic […] system” of navigation and attack is paving the way for more intelligent, more aggressive Mobs in the future.
Whether from the skies or from the sand, new food items have been spotted in the Wastes, ranging from fungi to meat and more. With them come new recipes for the Salvage Machines – this time, literal recipes! According to Neo, Refined Food is made with regular food as a component, is guaranteed non-poisonous, and has 150% of the Barter Value of its components. That is to say, if the three items you use have a combined BV of 10, the food you make will have a BV of 15! However, the cooked product still only has a 5% chance of being Delicious. Needless to say, scavenging and trading have seen a significant upsurge of activity.
Land:
The Wastelands Referral Program has been overhauled and simplified: If you inspire someone to buy a plot of land anywhere in The Wastelands, you get a cut of its price! Just have them IM NeoBokrug Elytis to tell him you referred them – before they buy the land. Any IMs received after the land purchase don’t count! Regulars or ex-residents get 25% of the land price, and residents get 50%. The money goes straight to you, not to your own land – spend it, save it, cash it out for booze money; it’s all yours to spend as you please. But it is imperative that you NOT engage in any manner of spam, griefing, or other harassment to force people to buy, or to obnoxiously spread the word.
It’s nearly October! Keep an eye out for the new Land Token. Only one shows up in the salvage spawn every month, and each one can be redeemed for “around L$6625” worth of tier, according to Neo. Like all salvage, if you don’t want it, feel free to barter or sell it to those that do!
RP NAME-DROPS: Word on the wind says that businessman, trader, and Trade Post founder Jubal Quintus is making his way back to the Wastes. There are similar rumors that Ironblood Mechanique, once presumed dead, is nothing of the sort, and might be found around the Great Fissure.