It can be heard all over The Wastelands now – the insistent pounding of scavengers’ feet. And paws. And squelching lumps of tissue that were probably feet at some point. A Wastelander might almost be lulled into a sense of safety, seeing less competition on his usual rounds. Until he notices someone making a frantic sprint toward some distant and presumably-barren stretch of rock. Or a vicious brawl raging on what, just yesterday, was a secluded cliff. Or until he spies the glint of a scope on a distant and previously-ignored hill – and possibly never sees anything again….
For those clever Wastelanders who do pay attention to their surroundings, here’s this week’s rundown of Wastelands news and events.
UPCOMING EVENTS: An extended heads-up for November 27th’s Gathering of the Tribes! Mutants from far and wide will come together on the salt flats of the ancient and respected High Mesa of Cormac for trading, greeting, telling tales, and dancing. Organized by Mutant Witch Ccindy Pfeffer, the Gathering will be open to everyone – but it IS Mutants Only! So, if you’re not usually a Mutie, make your way to the Heapkeeper’s Shack to pick up a free Tribal Mutant avatar! Or, you can try to make your own — as the Wiki article suggests, Mutants are often fairly lean, with brown, dark green, or deep red skins. Also, since their culture disregards anything buried underground (and often holds itself superior to human cultures,) they’re more likely to wear more ‘natural’ clothing they’ve made themselves.
Yet there’s nothing quite like the traditional weekly awesomeness of Fight Night. Gather around the Arena this Saturday at 3pm! Try out the new Arena Map Makers to create a new trap-filled challenge for each round – or just watch the carnage. Bring your friends! Bring their friends! Kidnap random passersby! And get on Voice if you’ve got it – if just to listen in.
Following this splattering spectacle, gear up for an evening of entertainment. There’s no word on the street right now, but in recent weeks, sneaky Giuseppe Spicoli has held a bonus Movie Night at his Drive-In around 5pm!
Even if there’s no film, there will still be some semblance of amusement as DJ Aposiopesis Fullstop takes to the roof of the Sledgepile once again to play a few hours of miscellaneous music. (Needless to say, if there is a movie, Apo’s Audio Atrocities will be delayed until after it’s over – by which time you’ll have had plenty of chances to flee.)
As hectic as Saturday may be, Sunday’s almost proportionately lazy. For the gamer-geeks of the Wastelands, there are few better ways to while away the hours than with a session of tabletop gaming. Spectators are welcome at the Hambone Slash Arena as NeoBokrug Elytis GMs the Pathfinder: Curse of the Crimson Throne campaign – containing an unlikely crew of characters. A harness-clad, hammer-weilding barbarian… gnome. A hideous pyromaniac rogue… clad in some fabulous harlequin fabric stolen off a (not actually dead after all) body. To say nothing of the purple-haired gnomish druid riding a velociraptor. The newcomer, a Sable Company Marine with his loyal hippogriff, is possibly the most normal PC we have… or so it appears right now. If the adventure sparks your interest, contact Neo about rolling up a backup character! He’ll guide you through the process and help you learn the ropes.
Giuseppe Spicoli: Making Mondays Suck Less Since 2007 or Something. Come out to Burnt Oak at 6pm, when the Boat House will be filled with at least an hour of music followed by an as-yet-unannounced title for Movie Night!
Want to get free stuff, cause friendly havoc, and display the awesomeness of The Wastelands to unsuspecting flatlanders around the Grid? Join up with your filthy fellows on one of SL’s many scavenger hunts. Some potential candidates can be found in this Forum thread.
EVENTS HIGHLIGHTS: The last edition of the Pulp came out just as the week’s Movie Night began – and you can thank me for not making anyone more aware of the horrible cinematic travesty known as The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. Based on the 80s-era trading cards featuring pudgy children engaged in a host of violent, biological, or violently biological acts, the film’s plot… hardly existed. Teenage punching bag Dodger grows smitten with one of the bimbos who hang out with his bullies. During a fight in an antique store, they accidentally release the Garbage Pail Kids, played by a bevy of midgets in rubber suits. Between eating fingers, peeing on the floor, and farting, they help Dodger give the bullies their comeuppance through the power of teamwork and fashion. Or something. Also, anyone ugly or weird gets rounded up and killed, so there’s probably a moral. This journalist frankly refuses to analyze it any further unless paid in booze.
Fight Night on the 14th had double-digit participation, causing Neo to come up with a new format – a tournament of battle royales! All the fights were between three or four participants, fighting three rounds each – whoever won best two out of three moved on, and the rest were eliminated. After a final match that was contentious in more ways than one, Dassina Andel emerged as the winner.
Last Monday’s Movie Night featured 1984’s “Electric Dreams.” Geeky architect Miles (Lenny von Dohlen) purchases a high-tech computer which becomes sentient after champagne is spilled on its keyboard. However, both man and computer find themselves falling for Madeline (Virginia Madsen), the musician living upstairs.
Yesterday’s Fight Night returned to its traditional format of mainly one-on-one matches. Old veterans encountered some stiff competition from newcomers like Masaka Miliandrovic and Jordy Parkin. After many close fights full of narrow escapes, surprising upsets, and beginners’ luck, the final match was waged between Jordy Parkin, TheBlackCloud Oh, Dassina Andel, and Tokiko Tigerpaw – who defeated Dassina with only 1% health remaining!
ESTATE NEWS: Salvage everywhere! Salvage now spawns on all 12 regions of The Wastelands, thanks to the cooperation of the various Homestead owners. Search for boxes in the dust and High Mesa of Cormac, vast Ashvasta with its understated-yet-imposing fortress, the deconstructed suburbia of Burnt Oak, the broken roads and blasted homes of North Yard, the ruins of Kronbelt, and the cliff faces and coasts of The Rot. And, with double the number of sims, Neo has also doubled the salvage spawn rate. Check this Forum thread for more information, or to mention any problems.
The combat system of the Wastelands game is soon to see a big overhaul, according to Neo – and he’s looking for input from the players. Speak up in this Forum thread to brainstorm new weapon ideas, or just give feedback on the proposed ideas.
Speaking of user input, when there’s no major event to announce, the HUD now features Rumors and Tips! Submit your own helpful hints and RP tidbits here.
Slowly but surely, the Great Fissure is getting a facelift! Its first iteration was easy to explore, but looked a bit unrealistic; its second form was more realistic, but hard to get in and out of. To judge by what’s out so far, this version is the best of both worlds – realistically textured rocks form land bridges and caves, and the much-missed shacks and walkways are returning to their precarious positions on the cliff face. Like most of the landscaping radness in the Wastelands, it’s the work of Gutterblood Spoonhammer – so, if you dig it, let him know!
This month’s Land Token has not yet been claimed! Only one shows up in the spawn per month – and now, it could be almost anywhere!
Remember that the Wastelands Referral Program is still up and running! If you know someone who’s been interested in living in The Wastelands, have them check the Land Store for plots and prices. If they mention your name to Neo before purchasing any Estate-owned plot, you get anywhere from a quarter to half of the sale price!
RP NAME-DROPS: Some Wastelanders have been surprised to see a group of kids running around the Wastes – the Ruin’t Pipsqueeks, with young Jordy Parkin at the lead. But these aren’t your usual whiny brats – they’re already becoming known for being little monsters in combat. And, if you’re on their good side, they may be inclined to run an errand or seek out information for you – if the price is right.
Meanwhile, from the old red rail-car to the North Yard and even in the Bog, you can hear it… Whispered conversation, hissing like Rattlers and just as venomous. Just what IS Jubal planning?