The following is from the Relic Excavator’s bloody and still slightly glowing Field Notes from a few weeks ago. The writing is clear at first and some words are scribbled out. But the text becomes messier, scratchier, harder to read as one scans down the three-folded page…
Folks are gathering again at the Potato Farm for War Zone. A few spectators. Willing combatants line up, clearly interested in participating. Too few to make even teams. Step up and fight folks! Hope we don’t have to revert to Fight Night.
Tin Man’s tapped me on the shoulder to join the ranks. Even out the teams.
Team One is myself, Pirate Graves, Zendo Zhangsun, and Malice Shepherd as the captain.
Team Two is Riptorious Ulrik, Oleg Kiranov, Cigi Sahara, and Syruss Constantine standing as their captain.
We plan for a couple to jump the fence, one backing up the other and go for the flag. The others will guard the exits.
Other team probably do the same or similar. Tactics vary sometimes.
Usually makes no sense for everyone to jump in for a dance on the traps.
Looking over at the other team, seems like both will keep their guns stowed away. It’s just clubs, flayers, crowbills, kidney bursters…maybe a rattlesnake. Time to get ready.
-rough wrinkled creases in the paper from being quickly folded over and stuffed in a pocket-
FIRST BATTLE
Been awhile since I ran the flag out for a long stride. Forgot how damn sick you get from it. Head hurts some. Folks are healing up at the rawks rocks now so I got a bit to jot this down. (Hmph. Note to self: You know how to spell ‘rocks’ by now. The glow’s confusing me.)
Malice got tangled up in the barbed wire when we jumped over, but I cleared it and wound up being the one carrying the greenglow banner. Kept it for a pretty good spell while the other team gave chase and then I lost track of them. Nearly lost track of my own team too but Malice caught up with me for the passing. Tried to give some cover. Intercept the pursuit but I was still carrying too much of the greenglow from the flag. Dropped quick and sick and the teams ran out of sight after Malice. I finally got back to my feet and puked up some fruit I ate earlier. No idea who had what.
Saw Syruss running with the flag far across the dunes. Figured I’d see if I still had some of the ole deadeye in me. Aimed and fired off a few shots from my rifle before it clicked empty. Didn’t have much left in it anyways but I might’ve tagged him once. The ghoul dropped soon enough, more from the greenglow sickness I’d wager than any of my bullets, but Riptorious was there to pick up the flag.
I was still too far away and had my hands full with Cigi and Oleg after they’d seen me with the rifle. Riptorius didn’t have it for too long. Pirate stole it away and I think he kept it until the end.
According to the Tin Man, Team 1 took that battle.
Malice laughs “Same plan, this time I’m gonna make it over the fence.”
-another fold in the thick paper. Blood stained and dried in the cracks of the crease where it pooled-
BATTLE TWO
Ouch. Know don’t Don’t know if puked up meat or slugs. Prbolaly Probly both. Tough battle. Malice cleared fence this time and got flag but Syruss yanked it away. Teams running all over dunes, garrisons, quarry, hanging out in the arena. Cigi and Oleg persistent. I snatched it some point. Not anymore when. Think I found Pirate by pipeline and gave it to him. Syruss-n-Slugthrower dished out some hurt. Outta nowhere. Stealing again but Pirate got it back. Then to Malice. Long line of chasers slashers bashers. Riptorious came out with the glow-green flag. Stole it off him at the hilltop, headed south. I barely had sense in the sick enough get Zendo’s attention for help. Took the sick trip again. Woke up to hear Zendo and Malice had finished the battle with flag possession.
Team One claims victory again, winning War Zone.
All bit dizzy, headaikeache, some glowin more than others. One last match for bloodthirsty watchers. Last Wastelander standin. Arena only. Teams line up in cells as Fog Pit rolls across arena floor.
-a final fold in the torn parchment-
FINAL BATTLE FOR HAPPY FUN GAS TIME
Hooper Gambit hootenanny. Huffer hi-jinks. Chain-links. Gas stinks. Something rhyme with stinks. Gonna be sick I thinks.
Fog Pit is uppers and downers. Runaround rounders.
Slash dash completely smashed.
Who won? Dunno. No remember and no matter.
Team 1 got a platter. Team 2 got a platter.
I want greasy bacon. Twice-cooked. Eat later.
Gas and greenglow and a stream of red to dam.
And photos for Press! I need to shoot them all good and dead!
No, no. I need to shoot the teams for photos.
No. Shoot photos of teams.
Right. Now, where are they?
And why am I still writing notes?
Stupid gas.
