A Murder of Crows

The rare and collectable crowbill
The rare and collectable crowbill

In the last two weekends, Wastelanders gathered at the hungry Potato Farm to engage in their favorite test of survival skill and to display their proud ferocity at Fight Night and War Zone.

Robin Varriale, the Renegade who reminded Wastelanders of the Rattlesnake’s deadly bite by winning a recent Fight Night, once again managed to survive a series of brutal battles to claim victory in last weekend’s Fight Night.  His prize for winning?  Two of the rarely seen and wickedly designed Crowbills, a weapon known well by many of the Wastelands old-timers.  A shortage of supplies and the cantankerous salvage machine refuse to reproduce what few created many moons ago.  Paytrok Ghost, a gruesome new scavenger in the Wastelands, walked away in second place with one of the rare crowbills tucked in his belt.

Fight Night Results for 02-14-09
Fight Night Results for 02-14-09

Last night, many of those same Wastelanders returned for another demanding War Zone, but this occasion would mark a departure from prior battles.  Initially, two teams of three were formed from the blood-lust competitors.  Team One’s members were Paytrok Ghost, Kanuck Heliosense, and Aposiopesis Fullstop.  Team Two contained Aragorn Rakels, Robin Varriale, and Ccindy Pfeffer.

The ever-mysterious metal man, NeoBokrug Elytis, decided to alter the typical War Zone dynamic by confining the teams within the Potato Farm only, instead of across the entire region of Hambone Slash.

The first battle was single elimination.  The last team standing wins.  The metal man barked out the commands for the arena, its floor tiles shifting and changing into their Sumo formation; a deadly and dense array of saw blades and pitfalls with a few clear spaces to stand in the center.  Wastelanders fell to the arena traps in quick succession as Aragorn, Paytrok, Apo and Kanuck dropped from their wounds, serving Team Two with a victory.

The second battle was also single elimination upon a different arena floor arrangement, Hurting and Healing.  This pattern was cleverly devised by Kezz Mauriac and its name is apt.  Strategically placed sawblades threaten to chew and spit the unwary across the arena and into sets of vicious sets of spikes, the most fearsome of Makaio Stygian’s deadly traps in the Arena that inflict tremendous damage and perhaps heavy blood loss or nagging poison.  This battle lasted longer as the two teams fought desperately to avoid the spikes while fighting one another.  Eventually, Team One proved victorious, managing to outlast their opponents.

Feeling benevolent, the metal man at this point allowed late additions to each team. Kezz Mauriac was given to Team One while biche Xue joined the ranks of Team Two.  The third elimination battle played out upon The Gap.  This arrangement contained spike traps near two corners while the opposing diagonal was a line of pitfalls, flanked on either side by flesh-searing explosive floor mines.  This battle raged for some time and more than one Wastelander fell from the snapping spikes and burning mines.  In the end, Team One gained the upper hand.

The infamous Potato Farm arena
The infamous Potato Farm arena

Oddly enough, the metal man did not proclaim Team One the winner of War Zone despite their two victories.  Instead, he cleared the arena of all traps and staked one of the infamous Wasteland Flags in the center, challenging the two teams to play Capture the Flag only within the confines of the Potato Farm.  Which ever team retained possession for the longest period of time during the battle would win.  The contest proved especially violent because the two teams focused on killing one another after Aposiopesis of Team One snatched up the flag.  She maintained her grip on the standard for the entire battle until the region’s harsh wind plucked it from her grasp.

NeoBokrug still wasn’t finished with these exhausted Wastelanders and the entertainment they offered.  Last but not least would be a free-for-all.  Every scavenger fighting only for themselves.  He patiently directed each one to stand and wait tight against the walls of the arena.  Then, he randomly switched the arena floor to possibly the most amusing choice given the fighters’ positions.  Saw Edge: a clear floor ringed with nasty saw blades at the perimeter…the pointed metal discs biting at the Wastelanders’ feet as they pressed against the walls.  The final battle was long and intense as the Wastelanders chased each other in the center or retreated to the edges and corners, daring adversary pursuit from behind the saw blades.  Gradually, one by one they suffered defeat from each other or the saws until Kezz Mauriac remained the last Wastelander standing.

As everyone regained their senses and licked their wounds, nodding to one another with grudging respect, NeoBokrug announced the day’s special reward…a prize for not one winner but for all fighters participating in the day’s event.  The last of the rare Crowbills!

Any eager collectors missing their chance to win this item must now cleverly barter with one of these victors and convince them to part with their prize.